After three posts and some deep self-reflection, I'm thinking maybe this blog could focus on the fact that our whole family is crazy, not just the kids. (Although Jamie may argue it's the kids and just me who are crazy). For the record, I do realize that part (probably a big one) of the reason my kids do crazy things is because of me. Take, for instance, today. We were home and planned a trip to the Richmond Metro Zoo. I thought for sure there would be some great fodder for the blog, but in very un-Norris like fashion the kids were pretty awesome -- no fighting, yelling or falling out of the sky ride into the rhino pit.
Thing is, I was kind of the crazy one. You see, Jamie likes to wait until the last possible minute to tell the kids where we are going when we have something planned so they don't bug us about how much longer it will be until we go -- trust me, this is a good idea. This is where my antagonizing nature came in to play. I told the two older kids we were heading to the sweater museum -- more specifically the Virginia Museum of Fine Sweaters. (a reference to the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts to all you non-Richmonders).
I had a whole elaborate plan going (Jamie was just a silent accomplice). The kids could try on different sweaters and even ask for custom made ones. Addie wanted a Jayhawk one but Chip told her people here don't know what a Jayhawk is. I even told them there were sheep outside the museum and we could watch them get a "haircut" so the workers could make the sweaters. Well, Chip heard us talking later about the zoo and knew we were actually going there, but Addie had no clue until we walked up to the front and said, "Why does that sign over there say z-o-o, zoo?"
I convinced her it was a mistake and we paid and went inside. I asked her what sweater she wanted and she still said, "A Jayhawk one." At this point I actually felt bad and we finally told her it was the zoo. Funny thing is she was so excited she didn't even bother getting mad at me. We had a great day with no incidents -- fighting was minimal and injures were absent, which if you know our family well, is rare. All was good until we were heading to the exit and Ollie decided to throw is sippy cup. You know that throw toddlers do when they are finished with something? The kind of, "screw this, I'm done and I know some sucker adult will pick it up" throw? Well, we were on a hill above the warthogs when Ollie decided, screw this sippy cup with the hot water/juice, and threw it down faster than gravity. Jamie had to decide to either run after the cup or let Ollie roll down the hill. She hesitated (I'm kidding), she grabbed the stroller only to watch the cup roll down and land on a ledge just inches from the warthog pit. I finally decided to go after it only to hear the roar of an employee golf cart, and quickly hopped back over and asked the nice worker-man to get it. You can see below he obliged.
So, Ollie did one crazy thing, but we had a good laugh. Today was great because my kids were awesome and another parent at the zoo made me feel like a great one. When her daughter was complaining about something, the mom said, "Stop whining like a three-year-old before I slap you like a two-year-old." Mom-of-the-year there! I don't even know how you slap someone like a two-year-old. Anyway, nothing earth-shattering to report from the Norris household, but right before bedtime Chip did remind me that while my kids may be crazy, it's not all their fault.
Anyone who has even one kid knows it's possible to lose them -- even in the house. While we were getting Ollie and Addie ready for bed Chip slipped upstairs to watch TV. When Jamie found him a little bit later, instead of Disney, PBS Kids or Nick, our six-year-old son was watching "Joe Dirt." When Jamie asked why he was watching that, he said he couldn't find the remote, which was on the night stand literally a foot away.
I then began rehearsing my speech for Father-of-the-Year and asked myself, "Are your kids this crazy?"
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